Adam and Taylor take a trip to the Maldives to cry in front of Becca's family, Becca's mom lets Blake down easy, there's a 1:1 craftsisaster ratio on this program and don't worry, Becca makes it very clear that Blake has been winning this whole time.

Love to the Power of Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S1Cc0pquqM

Adam and Taylor mourn the ultimate robbery of Robbin' Season, Hot John does the math on Jordan's Tinder activity, Joe groces Taylor into watching Bachelor in Paradise, Colton is reduced to a single descriptor and to call any predictions "bold" at this point is insane.

Adam and Taylor welcome Hot John Graham into the studio to discuss his time on the Bachelorette, what he packed (hint: it's confidence), dating in reverse, which men he would take to the fantasy suite, being a celebrity on social media and tips for cooking breakfast for dinner.

Chef G's cooking show: http://www.kitchntalk.com/

Adam and Taylor reveal an enormous surprise that's happening tomorrow, it's hard to tell if Blake has real feelings or memorized a bunch of Dashboard Confessional lyrics, Jason strikes out on multiple intimacy compromises and Garrett will always remember that his first time with his wife was in a treehouse.

Adam and Taylor talk about Garrett's divorce, which is something Becca has never considered doing, apparently it's attractive to bring a date to a wing-eating contest,
Blake has been through a lot, Colton has a new maternal low in front of a national audience and Walt has a worse episode than you.

Adam and Taylor fly back to America to blast the lax research staff, Wills has no normal clothes, Colton's (probably) at least rounded third, Leo's best and worst quality is that he says what we're all thinking and Blake's mom slept with the basketball conch.

Adam and Taylor aren't convinced that Virginia is for anything, Jason murders his 1-on-1 date and not in a way that requires any cleanup, Chris and Lincoln take a televised suicide pact, comedy is the most human of the arts forms, Leo deserves better than this and it seems like it's been too long since we talked about Heavyweights.

Adam and Taylor break down at the end of the end of the road, David is a guy who falls out of the bed and that's just who he is, Colton's virginity takes a road trip through Nevada for a pretty weak joke, Jordan is a winner and a loser at the same time and Chris commits suicide by hubris.

Editor's note: Adam blatantly misrepresented the Celsius/Fahrenheit conversion, it's hard.

Adam and Emily will never watch this season the same again after realizing that Nick has been dead the whole time, David's face takes a quick right turn, Becca burrows into the outer layers of Garrett's DNA, Lincoln doesn't believe in gravity or a spherical Earth, Becca can't tell that Wills is asleep and the people want fresh produce in Paradise.

Adam and Taylor are the only two people who get to the end of this episode without visiting the hospital, the Colton/Tia timeline is like the end of Inception, Jordan swiped a mathematically impossible number of women, Richard Marx does Becca and Chris some musical favors and we finally get to see the guys play sports.